Can you say 'Satire'?
by Leftomaniac
Summary: There's a DIFFERNT kind of invasion on, how will the cast cope?


I just want to say up front I'm not crusading for or against fanfiction of ANY kind, I'm just self-mockingly pointing out how FREAKY fanfiction is, if you consider that it's supposed to be based on the show. But freaky = good, yes?:c) It gets a bit choppy because the characters keep jumping from fic to fic but.. well anyway, enjoy! No own.  
  
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Invader Zim's Journal:  
Earthdate: 1/27/2002  
  
Another misrable day on this stinking planet. The only worthwhile thing that happened was that my sister finally arrived on Earth. She-  
  
Wait, what made me say that? How silly of me, she isn't my sister, there's no such thing as 'siblings' on Irk. Though she really does feel like a sister to me. We met at the Invader's Acadamy, and she has the most beautiful eyes. So deep and red... no, now that I think about it, they're more purple than red. Or are they green?  
  
And why am I talking romantically about her?!?!? How could I possibly fall in love with a disgusing hyyyyuman??? Especially when she seems even more bent on destroying me than that misrable Dib is. No, wait, that's not true, she seems more interested in Dib than me. Wait, no...   
  
I feel so confused, I'd better analyze the 'air' in the skool...  
  
Dib's Journal:  
Date: 1/27/2002  
  
Not a bad day today. I found somone who says she believes me about Zim, but I know she was just trying to tease me. After all, far from wanting to stop him, she spent half the day just /staring/ at him and giggling. She's very talkative though, and she seems to know a disturbing amount of things about me.  
  
Of course, it makes perfect sense for her to know so much about me, after all, she /is/ my cousin. And she wants to help me stop Zim, although lately I've felt more interested in /her/. She has stunning green eyes, and hair even darker than mine, which seems to just flow into her long trenchcoat...  
  
But isn't it sick for me to think about my cousin that way? But she's not my cousin, she's the new girl who just moved in last week, and she's an alien! And STILL no one will believe me about her, but somehow I don't think she cares too much about earth... and she /is/ a rather fetching shade of green...  
  
Gaz's Journal:  
Date: 1/28/2002  
  
Dib's bugging me again. Now he's screaming about some new girl in skool who's an alien. He gets so annoying, I wish I could just staple his mouth shut so at least his noise would be considerably muffled.  
  
Though, sometimes I really wish he'd talk to me more, maybe ask me how I'm feeling now and then. Maybe if he did tonight could have been avoided. There's no turning back now, I'll never have to suffer from loneliness anymore. They'll remember the day that quiet girl in skool took her own life...  
  
Wait, why would I want to kill myself? I've still got thirty-two levels to go on 'Pow Bam Bad Guy Die' And I haven't even /started/ on 'Attack of the Demon Weasils' I'm way to busy for anything like /that/ And yet the razor looks so beautiful and deadly, glinting in the sunlight...  
  
Dib's Journal:  
Date: 1/29/2002  
  
Gaz killed herself yesterday. Which is why I was so surprised to see her walk into the kitchen this morning. Maybe I /am/ crazy...  
  
girs jurnol:  
urthdat: i nono  
  
hello!!!  
  
Dib's Journal:  
Date: 1/29/2002  
  
I feel so depressed. Dad's always working, and half the time I'm sure Gaz hates me, no one will ever believe me about Zim...  
  
Maybe I'm crazy, maybe there is no threat to mankind, maybe I don't have any reason to live after all...  
  
Prof. Membrane's Journal:  
Date: 1/29/2002  
  
Dib killed himself today. I think Gaz killed herself earlier this week. I'm so lonely without them, maybe I'll kill myself...  
  
Got to go for a second, Gaz wants to go buy a new game. I have to tell her she needs to take Dib with her.  
  
Zim's Journal:  
Earthdate: 1/30/2002  
  
I just found out my mission is fake. I think I'll kill myself...  
  
girs jurnol:  
urthdat: i nono  
  
i don wanna keel myself! doom doom doom doom...  
  
Dib's Journal:  
Date: 1/31/2002  
  
Uk, she's back. Well, not the same she, actually, it's someone compleately diffrent, but they seem... similar. She has a coat like mine, and a shirt that says 'Z?'  
  
She keeps bugging me, and asking questions about my family. She wants to know if I have an uncle named Johnny. And when I tell her no, she asks if my last name begins with C. Now she's asking Gaz if she's ever considered changing her name to Devi.  
  
Invader Zim's Journal:  
Earthdate: 1/03/2012  
  
Her eyes are so lovely when she isn't squinting them. And her long, purple hair just seems to /cascade/ down her lovely back. She is so beautiful, and I know that-  
  
Ug! Wait! How could I ever love Gaz? She knows my heart belongs to her brother.  
  
And why am I in Hi-Skool?  
  
Miss Bitters's Journal of Doom:  
Date of Doom: 2/1/2002  
  
There certainly are a lot of wretched new students nowadays. You'd think the classroom would be full by now, but they keep coming. The more there are, the fewer resorses will be available for each, insuring thier doom. Doom, doom, doom, doom...  
  
Invader Zim's Journal:  
Earthdate: 3/15/2021  
  
I suppose I should feel good about conquering the earth, especially considering just yesterday I was strapped to an autopsy table, and yet something is troubling me. Lately, events seem to have no consistency, one minute I'm 'borrowing' organs from the dirt children at skool, the next I'm a baby back on Irk, still in the acadamy.  
  
Also, I'm almost certain that Dib's resistance movement is coming, there's just an air of inevitablity to it. Wait, no there isn't, Dib's locked up in prison, or is he dead? Or am /I/ dead? Wait, that makes no sense...  
  
Tallest Red's Journal:  
  
I had a fifteen minute argument about lazers with Purple today. The weird thing is, we've never argued about that before, except once.  
  
I hope he forgives me, I really feel for him even though Irkens come from tubes.  
  
Dib's Journal:  
Date: 3/07/2018  
  
I always knew this day would come. We've finally caught him. And yet, as I stand over Zim's struggling, cursing body, about to make the first incision I can't help but feel a little bad...  
  
Of course I should feel bad! How can I hurt Zim after all he's ment to me? After all we've been through together? But no, wait, it was Gaz, he was in love with Gaz, that sick little.. that's why, I'm getting revenge on him, wait, no, I'm not getting revenge for that, I'm getting revenge on him beacause... because he raped me!  
  
But it isn't Zim on the table after all, it's that... new girl! Or one of them anyway, they all seem to be similar somehow. She's looking up at me with that Oh-I'm-So-Noble-And-Defiant expression she loves too...  
  
I smile, maybe I WILL enjoy this after all... 


End file.
